this is the last night in my body.

I smiled when I looked down and saw what I saw in that drawer. It is just another sign that things are progressing into a positive direction. My home has become our home in a sense. I would rather that it is only OUR home, but I know that is a much bigger step. one that will take plenty of time to reveal itself. There is a time and a place, and that time is just not now. that place is just not here. Sometimes I wish I could force things into happening, and other times I want things to slow themselves before the answer becomes clear.

we are both so young, it is just hard to say without giving it plenty more time. The situation is just so right, the feelings are just all there, our pasts are just so similar. It seems corny to say, but it feels just like a story out of a book. Maybe thats why I waited so long to make the moves. I was scared that this tale wouldn't end up the way that I want it to. That I would once again have to search for someone.

I feel like that search is over, and thats real.

Right now, everything is perfect. she makes me feel like I just met her. she makes me feel like there is no other woman that could possibly compare to her. despite even the dumbest of times on my part, I couldn't hold a grudge with her. when her eyes meet mine, my heart hits the floor every time. Her smooth skin is more soothing then even the strongest of drugs. Her soft lips meeting mine is enough to silence everything else around us.

So I think that for right now, I will keep certain thoughts in the back of my mind. Thoughts that could one day be a reality. all these thoughts will show themselves in time, and there is no point in rushing them. My heart is anchored to her, and it has no plans of pulling itself in. I am in this because I love this girl. I am in this because I see promise in our relationship. Without her, I am weak. but with her, not even the harshest of opponents stand in our way.

so much music, so little time

I decided to make a list of my top 10 favorite albums for the past 5 or so years. I have had such a hard time thinking about this, because there is so much good music. so many different songs for different moods and emotions. basically I broke it down into albums that from the first time I heard them, knew I would always love them. and albums that I could constantly listen to over and over again first song to last song without skipping any track. so here they are;

#1 is a two way tie between The Receiving End of Sirens: Between the Heart and the Synapse and, Thursday: War all the Time

#2 Killing The Dream: Fractures

#3 Brand New: The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me

#4 Blacklisted: The Beat Goes on

#5 Thrice: The Alchemy Index

#6 Daggermouth: Turf Wars

#7 Converge: Jane Doe

#8 Circa Survive: Juturna

#9 Bayside: the walking wounded

and finally, #10 Alexisonfire: Crisis

This was by no means an easy list to come by. It was hard narrowing down which bands, and what albums. I would really like to put them into a better order then that, because there are so much that were left out. maybe I will do an extensive list someday. I have over 200 artists to take into consideration here. maybe some day when I am extremely bored.