I hate that my life has become so routine and trivial. It doesn't feel like I am enjoying anything that I participate in. I wanted to be working, and going to school. To tell you the truth, I have never been more ready to just give up. throw it all away. I wish that I didn't lack so many of the qualities required to just pick up and go. start again fresh, with a new outlook and understanding.
But with all of these haunting thoughts clustering in my mind at the moment, there is one thing that resembles a light at the end of a dark hallway. something that gives me hope, and ambition. someone that helps me to realize the beauty in life. the way that I feel when I think about her. the way that she makes me feel when I look into her eyes, and she looks back into mine. she could melt me away to nothing more then a puddle by resting her head on my shoulder.
It is thoughts like those, that can get me through times like these.
feelings so strong, that not even the deepest and darkest of pain and discomfort can stand a chance. not even the strongest of insecurities and self doubt will hold up. I have never felt this way about another human being, and really, I don't want to feel this way about anyone else.
I want so many things to become a reality, but time just seems to be taking it slow.
is there an end in sight?
is there a resolution to this feeling?
questions that only time will be able to reveal their answers. maybe we were meant to be. maybe there is one person custom molded for each and every one of us. someone who can melt away all our darkest secrets, and reach into who we really should be. to the man that I know I should be.
I suppose it's still to early to really know, but the thought is one that is in the back of my mind. such a simple question, positive and warm......
maybe that search is over?
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